After reading an article named Cinematical Seven: Ways to Set the Mood for Valentine’s Day, I decided the world needed some other choices. After stating, “If you put on the most terrifying horror movie out there and your little lady is terrified, I doubt she’ll be up for much else after,” they decide to include Paranormal Activity, and after saying, “a romantic comedy for your ‘Rambo-loving boyfriend? I’m betting he’ll nod off within minutes,” they include The Notebook and….Twilight! Now that does not appeal to both sides. They also recommend Wild Things (a film that should be watched in the privacy of your own bedroom and then hidden amongst your porn collection), American Beauty (“yes darling, I would like you to worry that I’m fantasising about our daughter’s friends on this very romantic evening”) and Grown Ups (if you want to bore each other, have a conversation).
Just in case some couples are planning on staying in tonight, and want some alternative options (and trust me you do) here are a couple suggestions:
The Princess Bride (1987)
I promise you it's not as girly as it sounds. Rob Reiner’s beloved fairy tale not only has the romance that you look for in a Valentine’s Day flick, it also has: “fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...” A charming, hilarious and exciting film with a brilliant cast that includes, Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Christopher Guest, Andre the Giant, Billy Crystal, Peter Cook, Mel Smith and a pre-Wonder Years Fred Savage. To want more from a Valentine’s Day film is inconceivable!
When Harry Met Sally (1989) 
Another Rob Reiner classic - the dialogue is witty and the chemistry between Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal is spot on. The last scene at the New Years Party should be cliché and sappy but instead melts your heart. The script is riddled with hilarity and warmth, keeping your interest invested in the characters. Ryan is extremely likeable, which is rare in romantic comedy female leads, and Crystal is hilarious as ever. And the meet-cute stories from old New York couples interspersing the script are the best part.
This racy ode to BDSM-imbrued romance has the sex and passion of Wild Things, but with depth and intrigue that makes you feel less guilty about enjoying it. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays an introverted young woman who comes out of her shell when her boss’s domineering behaviour opens her up to a different side of desire. In case you haven’t already realised from the description, it may be a bit awkward for a first date.
Love Me If You Dare (2003)
Nobody does romance better than the French. Jeux D’enfants portrays love with intensity and passion that leaves you terrified but longing for more. It involves a life long game of Dares that gets more and more intense as they age; from swearing in class, to saying no at the alter, to running from the police. With a childlike energy and imagination, an intense and adult viewpoint and brilliant performances from Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard, this is perfect viewing for Valentine’s Day.
If you are looking for an honest and realistic depiction of love - this is the choice for you. Their love is not something out of a fairy tale, but it is definitely one that should be envied by the time the end credits roll. After the realisation that they haven't achieved what they had hoped to in life, John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph travel across the country to search for the stability they desire before their baby is born - visiting family and friends along the way who intersperse the film with funny and emotional moments. While cynics may find it twee, you will finish the film with tears in your eyes and a big goofy grin on your face.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) It's a love story with depth - and considered one of the best films of the last decade by many. In this sci-fi flick, Jim Carrey is heartbroken when he finds out his girlfriend Kate Winslet has undergone a procedure to erase their time together. To ease his pain, he decides to do the same, but when his memories are playing backward as they're getting wiped away, he finds he's still desperately in love, and is reluctant to relinquish his memories of the woman he loved. Heart-breaking, uplifting and fantastic. The second French film in the collection. This mistaken identities tale sees Audrey Tautou seduce a bartender she mistakes for a playboy. He falls for her and antics ensue as he tries to beat her at her own game. A fun and sexy Rom Com that explores the battle between love and money.
And if you’re looking for something a bit more traditionally romantic, check out John Farr’s suggestions for romantic films pre-No Strings Attached style inconvenient romance.
In true Singleton style, I have also put together a list of anti-Valentines films for your enjoyment:
Relationships are never proved more dangerous than in Fatal Attraction, a moralistic thriller that has spooked many married men with wandering eyes. A sexy frolic in an elevator (lift doesn't sound quite so sexy) leads to a terrifying sequence of revenge inspired attacks. Michael Douglas plays a family man and Glenn Close plays the spurned and homicidally-driven mistress whose iconic embodiment of rage famously fumes at him: "I'm not gonna be ignored!" You may be single but at least your bunny's safe.
Oldboy (2003)
The second in Chan-wook Park's vengeance trilogy, this South Korean thriller unravels a deeply disturbing revenge tale. A man is abruptly kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years without being told why. His quest for answers leads him to some truly harrowing revelations. There's nothing like a bit of violence to get you through nights of feeling sorry for yourself.
This disturbing documentary won the 2008 Spirit Award for Best Doc, which is well-deserved as filmmakers Dan Klores and Fisher Stevens masterfully unfold this shocking story. It unveils the troublesome and true story of Linda Riss and Burt Pugack, a couple whose low point is the day Pugach hired thugs to throw lye in Riss's face. This film provides strong evidence that love is not just for lovers, it's also for the deranged.
It warns you at the outset that "this is not a love-story." Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel star in a quirky Rom Com that is full of great music and playfully retro set pieces. This indie darling unravels a chronologically tangled tale of love and heartbreak. For newly singles who are still yearning for their ex, it reminds you that you are only remembering the best moments, and dig a little deeper you will see a different story.
Suspicion (1941)
Many women dream of finding the perfect man: handsome, charming and successful...But what happens if it's all a lie? And what do you do if your husband wants to take up murder as a new hobby and he's decided you're going to be his first victim. Alfred Hitchcock wisely casts Cary Grant as the increasingly trustworthy Johnnie whose cache as a dashing leading man made the horror of Lina's discoveries about him that much more shocking. In spite of all the damning evidence against him, and even though he plans on killing her, Lina still loves him - it just isn't worth it love.
This ultra intense psychological thriller features Ellen Page's breakthrough role. Page plays a 14 year old girl lured from the internet by a 32 year old named played by Patrick Wilson. It's hard to talk about this film without ruining the story so read no further if you want a surprise but if you still need a bit of convincing read on ... After your original fears that she is going to be molested by Wilson, she brilliantly turns the tables on the man and begins torturing him in his own house. A tense dance between two capable leads, climaxing in the infamous "castration scene." What more could you want on Valentine's Day than castration?
Ladies: if all else fails get your single friends round and watch Thelma and Louise with a bottle of wine (each) and some chocolate. Cinema's most famous female outlaws are Thelma and Louise, two good-natured women (Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis) driven to murder after an attempted rape. Let's be honest, most women have wanted to torture/murder a man at one point or another and although they may refrain, it doesn't stop them enjoying seeing other maneaters do the the deed. Their crime spree escalated and what starts as a simple road trip turns into an allegory about female empowerment through carnage. Friendship and Brad Pitt's abs. What more could you ask for?
I Love You, Man (2009)
Don't worry guys, I haven't forgotten you. Follows the usual romantic comedy structure that has been the staple of cinema since it's invention: the meet-cute, break-up and make-up, racing to the altar. But this time romance plays third string to bromance. A hilarious film starring Paul Rudd enjoying his first male friendship with Jason Segel...and they live happily ever after.
Oh and if you’re planning a romantic trip to the cinema, go see Blue Valentine…it won’t leave you thinking all relationships are doomed at all…*cough*cough*
And whatever you do, don’t watch Valentine's Day!
I promise you it's not as girly as it sounds. Rob Reiner’s beloved fairy tale not only has the romance that you look for in a Valentine’s Day flick, it also has: “fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...” A charming, hilarious and exciting film with a brilliant cast that includes, Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Christopher Guest, Andre the Giant, Billy Crystal, Peter Cook, Mel Smith and a pre-Wonder Years Fred Savage. To want more from a Valentine’s Day film is inconceivable!
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